Early in my career, I was given two separate pieces of feedback that had a profound impact on my development and evolution as a professional.

The first was that I had “good judgement.”

This was described as a strength and that’s exactly how I interpreted it (I also took it as a compliment and confidence booster).

It’s one of the best pieces of feedback I have ever received. I wasn’t doing anything specific to use good judgement, I was just doing what I do, being who I am, and doing what came naturally. To this day, when I see good judgement, I give the same kind of positive feedback.

The second was that I was “low key.”

That was the feedback.

Damn right I am! I’m Canadian… low key is one of our specialties.

It was followed by an explanation that wasn’t very useful. I didn’t really know what to do with that so I probed a little more.

“I’m sorry… it’s a weakness?”

The response was “borderline” shocking.

I was told that I didn’t show enough intensity. I should make a specific effort to act impressive and project myself as more important. These would help me to advance my career. Otherwise, I would be holding myself back.

WTF?

Being myself, or so I thought, had usually been a strength. It was the first time I’d been given the advice to act differently than what came naturally. I’ve never given someone else that same feedback.

What’s more is that the course of action was to become an arrogant, loud, arsehole?!

But I did learn something.

I took that negative feedback on the chin and doubled down.

The only that changed as a result of that performance review was my perspective.

I’m still not the loudest person in a room full of strangers and you won’t see me as outwardly intense.

But I try to be considerate, disarming, and curious whenever I meet someone.

Once you get to know me, well, I can be funny, sometimes loud, and usually enthusiastic.

As people continue to be overwhelmed by pressure and stress at work, my style still seems to work. Being low key and using good judgment have actually turned out to be pretty critical for making change happen too.

You can always take steps to become a better you, but in most places, being yourself still wins.

Have a great week!